David Cameron leaves 4 million children behind after pub visit

A mix-up meant 4 million UK children were left behind in poverty by David Cameron following a Sunday lunch in the pub, Downing Street has admitted.

Over half a million of the children were forgotten by the Prime Minister after they wandered off into poverty while Mr Cameron was eating pub lunches at the Plough Inn, near Chequers with his family and two other groups of friends from News International.

According to The Sun, as soon as the PM realised it was being noticed that the children were being left behind, he rushed back to make sure the children were blamed for the mix up.

A Downing Street spokesman said:

The prime minister and Samantha were distraught when they realised everyone was noticing how so many children were being left behind because of his policies.

Thankfully when they phoned Rupert Murdoch, he assured them they would be safe and well because he would personally sanction a load of articles blaming poor children for their own poverty.

The story could prove embarrassing for the prime minister, coming on the same day as the government relaunches its £450m troubled families programme.

A Downing Street spokeswoman said there was no question of the Camerons blaming themselves for the incident and declined to discuss whether Cameron had drunk alcohol with his meal:

As you know, the prime minister is a very busy man, playing computer games, having drinks with party donors and riding horses with his News International friends, but he always tries to live as normal a life as possible with his family and he tries very hard to forget about how many kids are being dragged further into poverty by his policies.

.

  • 4 million children – one in three – are currently living in poverty in the UK, one of the highest rates in the industrialised world.
  • It is estimated that over half a million children in the UK have dropped below the poverty line since the coalition government came to power 2 years ago.

.

Related articles by Tom Pride:

David Cameron’s Advanced Driving Tips

David Cameron – I’m driven like Margaret Thatcher – in an armour plated black Jaguar XJ Sentinel

Confirmation – Cameron to play Buzz Lightyear in Tory Story 4

Cameron Lectures Eurozone On How to Ruin Economy

David Cameron is Jesus. Probably.

Is Cameron a Secret Stalinist? Or just a Toffee-Nosed Pillock?

Cameron tells unemployed – “Stop whinging and get daddy to find you a job!”

Comrades Clegg & Cameron Announce 5-Year Plan in Tractor Factory

Cameron announces emergency game of badminton to deal with fuel crisis

Cameron Privatises Britain’s Grannies. By Mistake. LOL

One thought on “David Cameron leaves 4 million children behind after pub visit

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s