In 2010 I became sick of always being cynical and decided to opt for healthy scepticism to coincide with the formation of a Coalition Government. It was a new day: exciting unchartered territory. I’ve always supported the concept of proportional representation so I thought this would be an enlightening adventure. And anyway, wasn’t it all Labour’s fault? And wasn’t this an emergency?

I’ve never had much time for labelling and categorisations. I never cared whether my opinions were to the left or right. Hey, if it’s correct and it works, who cares, I mused. I thought I was above that kind of restrictive, pigeon-holing crap. In my mind I still am. But in my heart? Well, now…

That was three years ago. Now, through getting to grips with the 3 Ms of modern finance: Machination, Manipulation and Malfeasance, I find that my search for solutions, insofar as they fit my personal philosophies, rather neatly consigns me to lean left in most socio-political issues. But that doesn’t mean I support Labour. It doesn’t mean that I trust Labour. It just confirms for me that there’s no viable alternative. It actually makes me feel a bit sick to think that, unless I decide to spoil my ballot, I will have to settle for this party that merely sits slightly to the left of the right – just to ensure the absence of the actual Right. And oh my, do I need some reassurance!

I’m afraid they will still compromise principle for trade, resources and territory, like this present government and all predecessors. I’m not convinced they know how to construct an economy which serves the people. All the people, rather than just some on the backs of others. I’m almost certain they will happily exploit other countries and peoples through neo-primitive accumulation, war and broken window policies.

I’ve come to recognise that, contrary to media and Tory propaganda, Labour in fact has a better handle on finance and what constitutes a healthy economic climate than either part of the Coalition of Conservatives but I don’t trust them to fully take the City on. I fear that Labour will still be more afraid of the banksters, corporations and foreign investors than the party will be of its electorate and I’m worried that they’ll bow to idiotic economists – you know the types: the ones who wish they were real scientists.

And I’m concerned about this fixation on the ‘centre ground’ for it is a relative notion with no real meaning. Calling something the centre doesn’t make it so. It doesn’t mean moderate either – Blair taught me that. I’m worried that Labour’s thinking is still too keen on measuring and projecting itself in order to fit with the mainstream. You see, the mainstream is a large part of our problem: its default setting being the status quo. Mainstream doesn’t stretch itself. It doesn’t question assumptions or readily imagine alternative views and those with vested interests, particularly politicians, take full and cynical advantage of this. I need my leaders to have the courage to be the exception. I’ve no problem with conceptsbecoming mainstream – that’s a measure of success in my book. But I don’t want to live there permanently. It’s stale and boring and anyway, look! It doesn’t sustain or even guarantee stability and security. It’s just holding fear or complacency in suspended animation until all manner of crazy starts oozing out of the appearing cracks.

For instance, take this borrowing malarkey. If Labour understands the economic argument and the method then they should have the courage – this much-heralded conviction – and advocate and explain it. Not in pre-fabricated chunks but properly, on a level that everyone can understand. They need to give us their economic lesson; demonstrate their theory. Don’t be shy or apologetic. Prove to the mainstreamers that they really do have a better financial grasp than the Conservatives. I’m all ears and I’m waiting…

Oh… and, as for proportional representation – this Coalition has rather put me off.